Angst

Felt unsettled and depressed today after work. Could be just the effect of Mondays. The shock of having to have structure in my day after 2 days of total fluidity. All the uncertainties of next year are also hitting me at random moments lately and freaking me out. Questions that induces acute anxiety, like “Will law school affect my relationship with Boyfriend?” “What if my classmates are all assholes?” “What if I hate the law and/or get horrible grades?” “What is going to happen to the company and who will run it now?” Etc. Etc.

Boyfriend and I talked over some of this over dinner. We went to a new Japanese restaurant in the 9th Square called Miso. We have been there twice so far. Food is really tasty there. Boyfriend had sashimi, and I had tuna teriyaki. Portions were kind of small though. I was still a little hungry after my entrée.

Drove to Costco and Trader Joe's after that. Grocery shopping is always fun with Boyfriend because we love trying new things and it’s fun envisioning our menu for next week. During various phases we’ve been obsessed with Costco’s stuffed flounders, rotisserie chicken, square veggie pizza, Ling Ling dumplings, breaded scallops, and meat lasagna. Our latest crush is those vacuum-packed barbecue ribs. They are tender, juicy, only take 5 minutes to prepare (microwave), and go well with my favorite red wine.

Also got 4 lbs of strawberries over Boyfriend’s objections. He doesn’t like them and thinks that I’ll never finish them by myself. We’ll see about that.

Amazing that after two years, it’s still an adventure to go shopping together. On the drive home, though, anxiety struck again – “What if all this changes next year? Will we be as close as we are now?”

Went home and ate a lot of strawberries. So these important questions are temporality blocked from my mind by berry-euphoria.