V-Day Thoughts

1. The most terrifying part about being in love for me has always been, and still is, not being in control. Making someone else love you is one thing that you cannot work at. It's not something that you can just exert more effort and results will follow. And this is terrifying for a semi-OCD, control-freak, over-achiever like me.

There is only one other thing that I can think of before which we are similarly helpless, and that is death.

2. The best part of love, for me, is developing rituals and private traditions with a loved one. Rituals are such wonderful things. There is the sweetness of anticipation, then the joy and intimacy of the actual experience. A ritual transforms ordinary, everyday events and makes them richer, more complex, more lovely; it imputes meaning into normally meaningless acts.

V-Day itself is a ritual -- a public, kitschy one, to be sure. It was just an ordinary day, until we decided to make it a day about love. Nothing it TOO kitschy for this self-proclaimed closet romantic.

3. My favorite book on love remains the Little Prince.



Comes April (the cruelest month), I hope I will remember the color of the wheat field.

4. I am acutely aware of my own imperfections. This is why I always find it surprising, and moving, and slightly miraculous, when I am loved. :)

The challenge for me has always been to continue to love, when I realize the imperfections of those I love. For me, growing up has been a process of understanding that what is important is not being completely flawless, but being lovable in spite of our flaws.

5. No matter what, love will always be a leap of faith.

Over Christmas break, I bought two copies of The Art of Travel, a book that suited my mood very much at the time. I kept one copy for myself (it is sitting on my night table at the moment, savored a few pages at a time). The other copy I wrapped up, as a gift, hoping that I would be able to give to someone one day, someone who loves slow, solitary traveling, and who would like and understand the artists and writers in the book as much as I do.

The wrapped book is still sitting on my shelf, waiting to be given. But it's only been two months, and I am patient.

Happy V-Day, all.