Tuscany, Day 1 (Part 1)

SwissAir was perfectly on time, and I had a stress-free stopover in Zurich. This being Switzerland, the place was filled with boring banker types with subtly expensive suits, leather suitcases, eyeglasses, and no personality whatsoever. I looked at them, amused by how they fit every cliché in the book about the Swiss. And Jesus, the place is OVERRUN with them! I think the only other place I saw quite so many banker-types was in the Frankfurt am Main airport

The (very empty) flight to Milan was 35 minutes, and the unsmiling, super-proper flight attendant gave us chocolates. The captain and the crew spoke to us in English, German, and French, which was a bit odd given that this was a flight to Italy. But there appeared to be no Italian on the plane. Probably no Italian would ever want to go to Switzerland. I can understand it if no Italian would ever want to leave their wonderful, wonderful country. Almost every European I have met while I was living in Germany loves Italy and want to live there one day, and the Italians… they already live there! Lucky them.

So, did I mention that I reserved a Smart car to drive around while I am in Italy? I have been scared and excited at the prospect all week. I have never driven a car so small before, and I am certain that if I ever crash into anything, even if just a tree at 20 mile per hour, there is just no way I would survive. The car is just too small and provides no protection whatsoever. I’m sure I, along with the car, would just be crushed like peanuts.

But anyway, I collected my car at the Milan airport. It’s a small silver car, and there is just enough space in the back to put in my suitcase, and I put my backpack on the seat next to me since there is no one traveling me (sigh…).

It’s so weird looking at the car! From the front it looks kind of like a normal car, and then you look at it from the side, and it’s like the second half is just cut off.

Anyway, I got into the car and played with the controls, figured out how to turn the lights on and off, how to operate the windshield wipers, etc. It took me QUITE a while to figure out how to get the car in “drive” mode, and I had to experiment a little. NOT a good thing! The car has a lot of places to store things, but no cup holder, which is kind of annoying. Also, the gas pedal is kind of loose, so you have to step on it really hard. The brake seems to work excellently though.

A surprise: the car is actually a convertible, and the top went back when I accidentally pressed on this button. Kind of cool, though the value of this is probably lost on me because I actually have the feeling of wind on my face when I drive. I like everything in the car to be very… controlled, and also wind tends to mess up my hair. Yes, I know I sound like a moron.

So, off we go, driving in the Milanese countryside! Actually, for about 2 hours after leaving Milan, you see nothing but the concrete highway, concrete office buildings, malls, and gray auto stops. Not that different from the States (or the suburb of every developed country). After a few hours of driving, I was getting hungry and sleepy, so I went off the highway to this service area with a cafeteria/convenience store –type place called “Autogrill”. Sounds really ghetto, right? Looked really quite terrible from the outside, too. But inside – what a surprise! There is a self-service area, with the freshest salads I had ever seen, mounds of fresh-cut fruits like kiwi and strawberries, a dozen delicious-looking cheeses, thinly cut prosciuttos, juicy hams, steaming plates of pastas, bowls of soup, and lots and lots of bread. Wow. I immediately began piling up stuff on my tray, and really had to control myself to not get too much.

In the end, I got a salad, two types of cheese, and this piece of ham which the lady grilled for me on the spot. Everything was totally yummy, and I left the “Autogrille” feeling extremely content and full.

Sadly, about 20 minutes into driving some more, the fact that I had just eaten and all the blood when to my stomach, and the fact that I hadn’t slept the night before and only 3 hours the previous night really began to bear on my driving, and I began catching myself falling asleep. Not a good thing, especially driving on an Italian highway (more on this later). So I took the next exit, which happened to be Parma.

(to be continued…)