Further proof that I am a budding alcoholic...
Before dinner (when I wrote my last entry), I was tired and a little depressed.
After dinner, and a glass of very hearty Cabernet (my favorite), I am tired and happy.
Yippee!
(Burp.)
8/24/2005
In St. Louis
7 days to law school!
7 AM flight today. At least I didn't have to drive to New York. Slept for the most part. Had a 3-hour stopover in Philly though, so read and dozed.
This is the second time I've been to St. Louis, and this time I don't plan on going to the giant arch again. Though I have to admit it, it was much cooler than I thought it would be, when you are actually there under it. The thing is soaring and quite beautiful.
Newsworthy in the past few days: had to get vaccinated twice yesterday, because of law school. One on each arm. Also had to have blood drawn, something that always leads me to faint. This time it was no exception. The nurse kindly gave me some orange juice.
Washington University is quite beautiful, and many ritzy neighborhoods around it. It's clear that town-gown relationship is less than warm, since many of the streets have huge signs that say "NOT A THRU STREET!" and some public-looking streets have gates around them. I guess it's their version of a "gated community" and they must hate the traffic.
Tired... should go to sleep soon. Sigh...
7 AM flight today. At least I didn't have to drive to New York. Slept for the most part. Had a 3-hour stopover in Philly though, so read and dozed.
This is the second time I've been to St. Louis, and this time I don't plan on going to the giant arch again. Though I have to admit it, it was much cooler than I thought it would be, when you are actually there under it. The thing is soaring and quite beautiful.
Newsworthy in the past few days: had to get vaccinated twice yesterday, because of law school. One on each arm. Also had to have blood drawn, something that always leads me to faint. This time it was no exception. The nurse kindly gave me some orange juice.
Washington University is quite beautiful, and many ritzy neighborhoods around it. It's clear that town-gown relationship is less than warm, since many of the streets have huge signs that say "NOT A THRU STREET!" and some public-looking streets have gates around them. I guess it's their version of a "gated community" and they must hate the traffic.
Tired... should go to sleep soon. Sigh...
8/22/2005
At Home
9 days to Law School!
Back home now -- insanely busy... It's ridiculous. I'm traveling to St. Louis for work this Wednesday, flying back this Thursday night, and then need to drive up immediately to Worcester for another event, then back, then move my stuff to my new residence near the law school, (after buying the furniture that I need), then driving up there and setting up shop. And then school starts!
Arrrrggggghhhh!
Back home now -- insanely busy... It's ridiculous. I'm traveling to St. Louis for work this Wednesday, flying back this Thursday night, and then need to drive up immediately to Worcester for another event, then back, then move my stuff to my new residence near the law school, (after buying the furniture that I need), then driving up there and setting up shop. And then school starts!
Arrrrggggghhhh!
8/20/2005
In Vermont Now
In a little hotel in Rutland, Vermont. Boyfriend and I were planning to go home today, but dilly-dallied a lot in the morning and then got tired of driving in the afternoon, so decided to stop here and spend the night.
Actually, kind of looking forward to going home, and then moving, and then deal with law school. In the past few weeks I've built up law school in my mind to be this humgungous scary thing. I think it will do me some good and calm me down to finally face and slay the dragon. Or at least try to.
Actually, kind of looking forward to going home, and then moving, and then deal with law school. In the past few weeks I've built up law school in my mind to be this humgungous scary thing. I think it will do me some good and calm me down to finally face and slay the dragon. Or at least try to.
Last Day in Montreal
Rainy and windy today. How fitting. It will be nothing but work from this point on.
11 days to law school.
Sigh...
11 days to law school.
Sigh...
8/19/2005
More Observations
- Montreal people are so attractive and stylish. Guys are athletic. Quite a few Latin Lover types too. Women are curvaceous and well-dressed. Perhaps it's because their ancestors are French settlers, and therefore born with a sense of style?
- McGill is pretty, though not nearly as pretty as some US schools I've been to.
- All the bookstores I've been to so far, including academic and university bookstores that otherwise seem extremely well-stocked and intellectual, have what can only be described as a PUNY law section (as in, 10-20 books at most, and nothing interesting). I wonder why?!?
- Call me "stupid American", but I just CANNOT eat French fries with mayo. Sorry.
- But otherwise, food here is amazing, fantastic, out of this world!
- McGill is pretty, though not nearly as pretty as some US schools I've been to.
- All the bookstores I've been to so far, including academic and university bookstores that otherwise seem extremely well-stocked and intellectual, have what can only be described as a PUNY law section (as in, 10-20 books at most, and nothing interesting). I wonder why?!?
- Call me "stupid American", but I just CANNOT eat French fries with mayo. Sorry.
- But otherwise, food here is amazing, fantastic, out of this world!
8/16/2005
Fun... Fun... Fun...
15 days to law school!
The past two days may well go down in history as the funnest days I'll have had in the summer before law school
Yesterday: sat in my favorite cafe in Old Montreal (can't believe I already have a "favorite cafe in Old Montreal! Pretty cool.) Ate chicken liver and duck pate salad, had coffee in the early afternoon and white wine later into the afternoon. All these beverages made even the boring criminal law book I was reading bearable, even classy.
Then, on a whim, I decided to get a Swedish massage at this spa near the hotel. An hour of bliss followed. After that Boyfriend and I drove to McGill and walked around the campus -- very nice.
Ducked into the university bookstore there and checked out their law section. Only a few books on Canadian law, and many books on American law... how weird. Why would they care about "the rise and fall of the Supreme Court of the United State?" It's not "their Supreme Court. Anywayz...
Back to the hotel and relaxed for a bit. Boyfriend took a nap and woke up around 10:30. We decided to go out again and walked around the old town; had tiramisu ice cream at our "favorite" ice cream shop while sitting outside.
Today: Woke up around 9:30 and decided, on a whim, to go to the Six Flags La Ronde right in town. Boyfriend is scared of heights, so he stayed home. I packed my crim law book (good reading for waiting in line...), camera, water, and off I went! Got to the park half an hour after it opens. Very few people were there -- the combination of the early hours and weekday.
Went on all the usual rides -- the scarier the better -- Boomerang, Cobra, Viper, Monster... The wait was only about 10 minutes for rides in the beginning, and then about 25 minutes in the afternoon.
Met friendly and cute Quebecois guy named Jean-Francois, who is a chiropractor from near Montreal and who is also touring the amusement park by himself. We were together on "Boomerang" and then went our separate ways, then met by accident again by this super-intense looking thing called "Slingshot", and decided to go on together. Basically, you get strapped into this ball attached by rods to two very tall poles on both sides, and then the ball is released into the air and you shoot to about 800 feet into the air, then bounce up and down a few times before you come back down. As I said, VERY intenss.
It was fun talking to Jean-Francois while waiting in lines. It was marred a little bit by my constant worry that he was going to try to pick me up or something, but he was a decent guy and never did / said anything inappropriate. He saw my criminal law book and we started talking about law school, and he told me about his chiropractition practice. When we parted we exchanged emails, and I invited him to look me up whenever he's in town.
Had very nice dinner with Boyfriend and then had ice cream at our usual spot. Then I walked around Old Town some more while he went back to the hotel room and organized his paperwork. Came back just now and am watching TV ("Canadian Idol" -- Yuck).
I wish vacation would never end and law school would never have to start.
The past two days may well go down in history as the funnest days I'll have had in the summer before law school
Yesterday: sat in my favorite cafe in Old Montreal (can't believe I already have a "favorite cafe in Old Montreal! Pretty cool.) Ate chicken liver and duck pate salad, had coffee in the early afternoon and white wine later into the afternoon. All these beverages made even the boring criminal law book I was reading bearable, even classy.
Then, on a whim, I decided to get a Swedish massage at this spa near the hotel. An hour of bliss followed. After that Boyfriend and I drove to McGill and walked around the campus -- very nice.
Ducked into the university bookstore there and checked out their law section. Only a few books on Canadian law, and many books on American law... how weird. Why would they care about "the rise and fall of the Supreme Court of the United State?" It's not "their Supreme Court. Anywayz...
Back to the hotel and relaxed for a bit. Boyfriend took a nap and woke up around 10:30. We decided to go out again and walked around the old town; had tiramisu ice cream at our "favorite" ice cream shop while sitting outside.
Today: Woke up around 9:30 and decided, on a whim, to go to the Six Flags La Ronde right in town. Boyfriend is scared of heights, so he stayed home. I packed my crim law book (good reading for waiting in line...), camera, water, and off I went! Got to the park half an hour after it opens. Very few people were there -- the combination of the early hours and weekday.
Went on all the usual rides -- the scarier the better -- Boomerang, Cobra, Viper, Monster... The wait was only about 10 minutes for rides in the beginning, and then about 25 minutes in the afternoon.
Met friendly and cute Quebecois guy named Jean-Francois, who is a chiropractor from near Montreal and who is also touring the amusement park by himself. We were together on "Boomerang" and then went our separate ways, then met by accident again by this super-intense looking thing called "Slingshot", and decided to go on together. Basically, you get strapped into this ball attached by rods to two very tall poles on both sides, and then the ball is released into the air and you shoot to about 800 feet into the air, then bounce up and down a few times before you come back down. As I said, VERY intenss.
It was fun talking to Jean-Francois while waiting in lines. It was marred a little bit by my constant worry that he was going to try to pick me up or something, but he was a decent guy and never did / said anything inappropriate. He saw my criminal law book and we started talking about law school, and he told me about his chiropractition practice. When we parted we exchanged emails, and I invited him to look me up whenever he's in town.
Had very nice dinner with Boyfriend and then had ice cream at our usual spot. Then I walked around Old Town some more while he went back to the hotel room and organized his paperwork. Came back just now and am watching TV ("Canadian Idol" -- Yuck).
I wish vacation would never end and law school would never have to start.
8/15/2005
Crime and Punishment
Looking at my Criminal Law syllabus on-line right now.
"What is Punishment;" "The Element of Just Punishment;" "The Requirement of Culpability;" "Justification and Excuse."
All sound pretty interesting, actually. Sounds like my undergraduate philosophy class.
Of course, I know the exam will be nothing like it.
"What is Punishment;" "The Element of Just Punishment;" "The Requirement of Culpability;" "Justification and Excuse."
All sound pretty interesting, actually. Sounds like my undergraduate philosophy class.
Of course, I know the exam will be nothing like it.
8/14/2005
Family in All the Fun Places
My aunt who lives in Germany and her family came to meet me in Montreal today! Last time I saw her, my uncle, and my two cousins was three years ago when I was still in Germany. How weird it is that our family is now reuniting in Montreal, Canada!
My aunt is my father's younger sister. She and her husband emigrated to Germany in the 80s, and now he is an engineer for Siemens in Baden-Wuertenberg and she is a doctor who commutes to Bavaria. The four of them live in beautiful Konstanz, where I visited time and again both in college and afterwards.
My older cousin was a little girl when her parents left China. A few years later she joined them in Germany, and grew up in Germany and speaks fluent German and Chinese (and English and French too). She is now a medical student at Tuebingen. My younger cousin was born in Germany and is now about 10, and acts like a little German in spite of his parents' effort to teach him Chinese.
I love being with my aunt's family, and this time it was no different. It was a nice stroke a luck that they scheduled their trip to North America and decided to visit Canada just as I am in Montreal.
We had a very good time this evening strolling along the Old Town and by the river. There were so many people out on the street, eating, drinking, singing, dancing and generally having a great time. Today it wasn't as hot as the past few days. The temperature was perfect for walking outside.
Boyfriend and I also discovered a great neighborhood today -- around McGill University. We are planning to go there tomorrow morning to have coffee and to have breakfast.
Here are some other photos of Montreal I took in the past few days.
Old Montreal's charming streets.
Street musicians performing the theme song to "Love Story".
Lovely boardwalk by the St. Lawrence
A really cool exhibit about the life and inventions of Buckminster Fuller at the Biosphere.
Downtown -- the modern side of Montreal -- Very different from the Old Town, isn't it?
Contrasts of old and new, like this one, can be seen everywhere in Montreal. But this is one of my favorite photos from this trip -- the cathedral steeple against the pink (pink!) glass high-rise.
My aunt is my father's younger sister. She and her husband emigrated to Germany in the 80s, and now he is an engineer for Siemens in Baden-Wuertenberg and she is a doctor who commutes to Bavaria. The four of them live in beautiful Konstanz, where I visited time and again both in college and afterwards.
My older cousin was a little girl when her parents left China. A few years later she joined them in Germany, and grew up in Germany and speaks fluent German and Chinese (and English and French too). She is now a medical student at Tuebingen. My younger cousin was born in Germany and is now about 10, and acts like a little German in spite of his parents' effort to teach him Chinese.
I love being with my aunt's family, and this time it was no different. It was a nice stroke a luck that they scheduled their trip to North America and decided to visit Canada just as I am in Montreal.
We had a very good time this evening strolling along the Old Town and by the river. There were so many people out on the street, eating, drinking, singing, dancing and generally having a great time. Today it wasn't as hot as the past few days. The temperature was perfect for walking outside.
Boyfriend and I also discovered a great neighborhood today -- around McGill University. We are planning to go there tomorrow morning to have coffee and to have breakfast.
Here are some other photos of Montreal I took in the past few days.
Old Montreal's charming streets.
Street musicians performing the theme song to "Love Story".
Lovely boardwalk by the St. Lawrence
A really cool exhibit about the life and inventions of Buckminster Fuller at the Biosphere.
Downtown -- the modern side of Montreal -- Very different from the Old Town, isn't it?
Contrasts of old and new, like this one, can be seen everywhere in Montreal. But this is one of my favorite photos from this trip -- the cathedral steeple against the pink (pink!) glass high-rise.
8/12/2005
Montreal in Photos
"Oscar Wilde Pub" at the Village
Rainbow flags at the Gay District
Fashion in the village?
I am Canadian!...
Boardwalk at the Vieux Port
Boats swaying in the dusk...
The beautiful facade of the St. Peter's Cathedral
Cobblestoned streets in Old Montreal
8/10/2005
The Village
Boyfriend and I stumbled upon Montreal's gay district today. We saw a bustling and attractive street while driving around town, stopped the car and stepped out. Before long, I began noticing that there was a rainbow flag in front of nearly every single store and restaurant. Remember what I had read the previous evening, I immediately said: "Oh, this is the gay district!"
Boyfriend, who is not as culturally savvy as me, took a bit more convincing. However, all doubts and skepticism evaporated when we passed by an entire Starbucks full of gay men. Really. Men in tight-fitting t-shirts in every single seat in the small starbucks, drinking green tea frappucinos or other drinks with a lot of whipped creams on top.
There were also quite a few maile underwear stores, people with blond, spiky hair and astonishingly good physique, and sushi bars.
But not everyone was fit and good-looking. Also quite a few frumpy older types around.
There was a bar named "Oscar Wilde Bar", whose front facade is decorated entirely in rainbow flags.
Even the subway stop has rainbow flag decorations.
I took photos of everything. Perhaps I'll share some tomorrow.
Felt a little awkward holding hands with Boyfriend in the gay district. I mean, would gay people take offense at it, as if we were flaunting our heterosexuality, the way some vegetarians would take offense when people eat meat in front of them? At least I got a feel of what it's like to be in the minority.
All the cafes looked great and the restaurants looked incredibly good.
Didn't know the name at the time. Came home and checked, and that neighborhood is called "the Village." Hee, how fitting.
Boyfriend, who is not as culturally savvy as me, took a bit more convincing. However, all doubts and skepticism evaporated when we passed by an entire Starbucks full of gay men. Really. Men in tight-fitting t-shirts in every single seat in the small starbucks, drinking green tea frappucinos or other drinks with a lot of whipped creams on top.
There were also quite a few maile underwear stores, people with blond, spiky hair and astonishingly good physique, and sushi bars.
But not everyone was fit and good-looking. Also quite a few frumpy older types around.
There was a bar named "Oscar Wilde Bar", whose front facade is decorated entirely in rainbow flags.
Even the subway stop has rainbow flag decorations.
I took photos of everything. Perhaps I'll share some tomorrow.
Felt a little awkward holding hands with Boyfriend in the gay district. I mean, would gay people take offense at it, as if we were flaunting our heterosexuality, the way some vegetarians would take offense when people eat meat in front of them? At least I got a feel of what it's like to be in the minority.
All the cafes looked great and the restaurants looked incredibly good.
Didn't know the name at the time. Came home and checked, and that neighborhood is called "the Village." Hee, how fitting.
Facades of Montreal
Random building that I liked.
Palais de Congres
Crazy colors from inside the Palais.
The biosphere
Crazy geometrics of the Biosphere.
8/09/2005
Further Observations
- For a northern city, Montreal sure is not any cooler than anywhere I've been lately.
- Underground city is AWESOME. It's like a gigantic maze - I have never seen anything like it. Boyfriend and I spent hours wading around it and exploring. There were many times when we ended up at narrow deserted corridors that seemed to lead into deadends, but there was ALWAYS a door on the other side. It was so much fun. I would love to be back in the winter here.
- People here don't seem to value river-front property as much as in the States. All the houses that we have seen so far on the river bank have not been that nice.
- Ugly industrial parts around the city.
- Horse-drawn carriages smell kind of bad. I've never understood their attraction.
- Many little coffee shops here giving Starbucks a run for its money.
- Lots and lots and lots of Greek restaurants here. I wonder why...?
- Have not grown tired of hearing French yet.
More observations (and perhaps photos) to come tomorrow. Too tired tonight to upload them.
- Underground city is AWESOME. It's like a gigantic maze - I have never seen anything like it. Boyfriend and I spent hours wading around it and exploring. There were many times when we ended up at narrow deserted corridors that seemed to lead into deadends, but there was ALWAYS a door on the other side. It was so much fun. I would love to be back in the winter here.
- People here don't seem to value river-front property as much as in the States. All the houses that we have seen so far on the river bank have not been that nice.
- Ugly industrial parts around the city.
- Horse-drawn carriages smell kind of bad. I've never understood their attraction.
- Many little coffee shops here giving Starbucks a run for its money.
- Lots and lots and lots of Greek restaurants here. I wonder why...?
- Have not grown tired of hearing French yet.
More observations (and perhaps photos) to come tomorrow. Too tired tonight to upload them.
8/08/2005
Goodbye
Too bad about Peter Jennings. So sad and jolting to see people whom I'm used to being alive die. Like Robert Nozick. Like Susan Sontag (I actually saw her speak at the American Institute in Berlin... 2 years later she was dead). Like Pope John Paul.
8/07/2005
Montreal
After staying in Vermont last night and driving for a total of 7 hours (and listening to law tapes the entire way), Boyfriend and I are in Montreal!
It's a very nice city -- much bigger than I imagined, with a beautiful skyline from afar. Perhaps tomorrow I'll have pictures.
We are staying at the outskirts of the city for now and planning to explore a bit more for the next few days. Here are some preliminary observations:
- French sounds so good... I really wish I could still speak it. Ordinary people sound so sophisticated immediately when they begin to speak French.
- "Latin Quarter" in every city is a mixture of grunge and hip. Montreal is no exception.
- Starbucks is good everywhere. :D
- Despite growing up with the metric system, after years of living in America, it no longer has any meaning for me. I have no idea how fast "100 km/ hr" is, nor how many liters my car needs (or whether it's a good deal that it costs 1.03 in Canadian dollars for a liter, for that matter.)
- The traffic lights here are different SHAPES depending on the colors. The red lights are square. The orange ones are diamond. And green lights are round. I guess this is for the benefit of color-blind people.
- Lots of svelte tall European types here. And people are in general very attractive.
- Lots and lots and lots of cafes and bistros.
- Getting INTO Canada took about 2 seconds. I'm sure getting back to the U.S. won't be as easy.
In other news, I've been trying to change my sleeping habits from "night-owl" to "morning bluejay", in preparation for law school. So I've been setting my cell phone to ring every morning at 7 AM for the past few days. I've made similar attempts before. I'll keep you posted on how this one goes.
It's a very nice city -- much bigger than I imagined, with a beautiful skyline from afar. Perhaps tomorrow I'll have pictures.
We are staying at the outskirts of the city for now and planning to explore a bit more for the next few days. Here are some preliminary observations:
- French sounds so good... I really wish I could still speak it. Ordinary people sound so sophisticated immediately when they begin to speak French.
- "Latin Quarter" in every city is a mixture of grunge and hip. Montreal is no exception.
- Starbucks is good everywhere. :D
- Despite growing up with the metric system, after years of living in America, it no longer has any meaning for me. I have no idea how fast "100 km/ hr" is, nor how many liters my car needs (or whether it's a good deal that it costs 1.03 in Canadian dollars for a liter, for that matter.)
- The traffic lights here are different SHAPES depending on the colors. The red lights are square. The orange ones are diamond. And green lights are round. I guess this is for the benefit of color-blind people.
- Lots of svelte tall European types here. And people are in general very attractive.
- Lots and lots and lots of cafes and bistros.
- Getting INTO Canada took about 2 seconds. I'm sure getting back to the U.S. won't be as easy.
In other news, I've been trying to change my sleeping habits from "night-owl" to "morning bluejay", in preparation for law school. So I've been setting my cell phone to ring every morning at 7 AM for the past few days. I've made similar attempts before. I'll keep you posted on how this one goes.
8/05/2005
Go North, Young Man, Go North!
As some of you already know, part of my mad rush in the past week was to get enough work done so I can squeeze in a vacation before being sucked into the blackhole known as Law School.
I don't know how much work I actually got done, but the vacation is really happening! Tomorrow!
Boyfriend and I debated about where we wanted to go. He was a bit more constrained geographically and temporally than me. At first, I was going to go to Germany by myself (Konstanz! Ahhhhhh...), and he was going to visit me. But then, the thought of wasting two precious days en route and having to adjust TWICE to the time difference in a few weeks did not appeal to me.
A lot of other place names were thrown about. Finally, we decided on the closest semi-exotic place to us -- Montreal.
Neither Boyfriend nor I have ever visited there, so this should be interesting.
We are driving with our van up north tomorrow, stopping in northern Vermont for a night, then continuing our drive northward.
Our hotels should have Internet connection, so posting should be minimally affected. I'm sure I'll have lots of pictures to share, as usual.
I don't know how much work I actually got done, but the vacation is really happening! Tomorrow!
Boyfriend and I debated about where we wanted to go. He was a bit more constrained geographically and temporally than me. At first, I was going to go to Germany by myself (Konstanz! Ahhhhhh...), and he was going to visit me. But then, the thought of wasting two precious days en route and having to adjust TWICE to the time difference in a few weeks did not appeal to me.
A lot of other place names were thrown about. Finally, we decided on the closest semi-exotic place to us -- Montreal.
Neither Boyfriend nor I have ever visited there, so this should be interesting.
We are driving with our van up north tomorrow, stopping in northern Vermont for a night, then continuing our drive northward.
Our hotels should have Internet connection, so posting should be minimally affected. I'm sure I'll have lots of pictures to share, as usual.
3 AM Panic Attacks
I'm sure every 0L has had this moment at least once in the pre-September days.
And it just happened to me, at 3 AM last night. The thought hit me all of a sudden.
I'm going to law school.
I'm really going to law school!
It's really happening! In less than 4 weeks! I've been assigned classes. Pretty soon a fat envelope will come with casebook assigments that I'll need to buy. I have to move at the end of this month. I'll have to spend 3 years in a really cold town, with competitive and ambitious people, with late nights at the library and mountains of reading materials and back-to-back final exams and endless interviews at firms I'm not sure I want to work for anyway and all the furtive and ego-crushing comparisons with my classmates and...
I don't feel ready. I'm not sure what ready feels like, but this is definitely not ready. I don't feel prepared. I don't feel as smart as other people. I wonder if I'm one of those sympathy admits who will graduate from the bottom of the class. I wonder if I'll hate all my classes and profs (everyone I've talked to who goes to my law school, and everyone I've talked to who knows someone who did, seems to think so.)
And there are the bigger questions too. Do I really want to go to law school? Do I really want to be a lawyer? Will I like law? Do I really want to spend the rest of my life drafting memos and reading cases and being argumentative, as opposed to... what? What else is there for someone with a relatively useless undergraduate major unsure about her life? What do I want my life to be like? What kind of career do I really want to have? If I become a lawyer, will I be sucked into this endless cycle of competition for and insecurity about my own prestige? Will I be happy? Will I be satisfied? Is it too late to change my mind?
It's too soon... wait!... I need more time to decide!
Okay, okay, breeeeathe. In... out... in... out...
And it just happened to me, at 3 AM last night. The thought hit me all of a sudden.
I'm going to law school.
I'm really going to law school!
It's really happening! In less than 4 weeks! I've been assigned classes. Pretty soon a fat envelope will come with casebook assigments that I'll need to buy. I have to move at the end of this month. I'll have to spend 3 years in a really cold town, with competitive and ambitious people, with late nights at the library and mountains of reading materials and back-to-back final exams and endless interviews at firms I'm not sure I want to work for anyway and all the furtive and ego-crushing comparisons with my classmates and...
I don't feel ready. I'm not sure what ready feels like, but this is definitely not ready. I don't feel prepared. I don't feel as smart as other people. I wonder if I'm one of those sympathy admits who will graduate from the bottom of the class. I wonder if I'll hate all my classes and profs (everyone I've talked to who goes to my law school, and everyone I've talked to who knows someone who did, seems to think so.)
And there are the bigger questions too. Do I really want to go to law school? Do I really want to be a lawyer? Will I like law? Do I really want to spend the rest of my life drafting memos and reading cases and being argumentative, as opposed to... what? What else is there for someone with a relatively useless undergraduate major unsure about her life? What do I want my life to be like? What kind of career do I really want to have? If I become a lawyer, will I be sucked into this endless cycle of competition for and insecurity about my own prestige? Will I be happy? Will I be satisfied? Is it too late to change my mind?
It's too soon... wait!... I need more time to decide!
Okay, okay, breeeeathe. In... out... in... out...
8/03/2005
The Demi-Gods
Had some time to look more into the matter of my professors today.
I don't recognize any of their names. But then again, I am not well-versed in the matter of the legal superstars. I'm sure, nonetheless, that each one of them is considered sort of a demi-god by adoring students, especially those who also hope to break into academia.
My civ pro professor is a woman and reactions to her course are in general nice. The rest of my profs are all men (except my First Year Lawyering instructor, who is not considered by the law school to be a full "prof" anyway).
Most of them seem like competent teachers, at least according to student comments from previous years. One of them, however, namely, my contracts prof, received very low marks in nearly everything from students, from course organization to availability outside of class. The only high mark he received, in fact, was "knowledge of the subject matter".
Well, one would certainly hope so...
Thankfully, I don't have him until the second semester, when I hopefully will be more knowledgeable and at ease about this whole law school business.
In separate news, got a $889 leather couch from Costco today. My local Costco ran out of them so Boyfriend and I went to a town about an hour away to get it. The drive was actually very enjoyable. We listened to Arther Miller's lecture CDs on civil pro on the way there and back. Boyfriend, who would have become a litigator, perhaps, in another life, was especially interested.
Had dinner at very nice restaurant after getting couch. Yay for fried oysters!
I don't recognize any of their names. But then again, I am not well-versed in the matter of the legal superstars. I'm sure, nonetheless, that each one of them is considered sort of a demi-god by adoring students, especially those who also hope to break into academia.
My civ pro professor is a woman and reactions to her course are in general nice. The rest of my profs are all men (except my First Year Lawyering instructor, who is not considered by the law school to be a full "prof" anyway).
Most of them seem like competent teachers, at least according to student comments from previous years. One of them, however, namely, my contracts prof, received very low marks in nearly everything from students, from course organization to availability outside of class. The only high mark he received, in fact, was "knowledge of the subject matter".
Well, one would certainly hope so...
Thankfully, I don't have him until the second semester, when I hopefully will be more knowledgeable and at ease about this whole law school business.
In separate news, got a $889 leather couch from Costco today. My local Costco ran out of them so Boyfriend and I went to a town about an hour away to get it. The drive was actually very enjoyable. We listened to Arther Miller's lecture CDs on civil pro on the way there and back. Boyfriend, who would have become a litigator, perhaps, in another life, was especially interested.
Had dinner at very nice restaurant after getting couch. Yay for fried oysters!
8/02/2005
Law School Schedule Is Up
Classes at 8:50! :(
Professors I have been assigned to reportedly not great.
Dead tired... Perhaps will write more tomorrow.
Professors I have been assigned to reportedly not great.
Dead tired... Perhaps will write more tomorrow.
8/01/2005
Busy and Stressed
Don't have much time to write -- am in C-Town now with co-worker and tomorrow we are training 7 (yes, 7!) new facilitators.
Also, over dinner today, finally told co-worker that I'm going to law school and therefore leaving the company. (I've been basically keeping this a secret for the past several months; didn't want to alarm / distract anybody.) She was shocked and a little dismayed, but then we talked abou the steps I'm taking to ensure that the company is still in good shape and functional even if I leave, and we left the conversation at a very good place.
Afterwards, setting up took forever, too. Didn't get to the hotel until 10:30 and dead tired. So am going to sleep now.
Also, over dinner today, finally told co-worker that I'm going to law school and therefore leaving the company. (I've been basically keeping this a secret for the past several months; didn't want to alarm / distract anybody.) She was shocked and a little dismayed, but then we talked abou the steps I'm taking to ensure that the company is still in good shape and functional even if I leave, and we left the conversation at a very good place.
Afterwards, setting up took forever, too. Didn't get to the hotel until 10:30 and dead tired. So am going to sleep now.
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