Misfire

So there is this employee in my office whom I really hate.

“Z” has been working for a little over 2 months, and had seemed really pleasant and competent during the interview.

After he started working, however, I discovered that he is chatty, sloppy and careless in his work, becomes easily distract with every little thing, takes incessant personal phone calls, and in general requires enormous amount of management time. In other words, totally the wrong personality type to be working in a little start-up like ours.

It got to the point where I dreaded going into the office because managing him is so stressful, which must have partly contributed to my recent depressed mood. Every day I complained bitterly to Boyfriend about him.

Unfortunately, our little start-up’s growth is picking up pace and there is enormous amount of work to do, which is why I put up with his crap. Still, it’s painfully obvious how much less productive he is than other staff and how his unproductiveness infects everyone else, too. He has twenty problems a day that either I or someone else has to baby him through.

But in recent weeks we have a flood of recent graduates applying for summer and full-time positions, and I saw hope on the horizon. Maybe we can let Z go soon! Maybe the office will be a pleasant, fun place again!

Anyway, yesterday, out of the blue, Z said that he wanted to “talk”. So I thought, great, this is a chance to lay it all out there and just fire him.

So today, before our scheduled appointment, I planned my speech. “You and the company are not really a good fit at this point.” I would say. “Seems like you would enjoy a more socially interactive workplace.” “Not everyone enjoys the pressure and tedium of a little start-up.” “The company will enter a transitional period in the next few months where we need a completely different type of staff member.”

I decided to skip the part about him being sloppy, easily distracted, whiny, and hard to manage.

Anyway, it was 5 and our meeting time. Z and I sat awkwardly around the table, and I was about to open my mouth. But he began first.

“I’m really sorry, Buttercup, but I have decided to move back to my hometown and so can only work until the end of May.”

A beautiful, ineffable joy washed over me.

It turned out that Z’s been homesick for a while and would like to live nearer his parents. He was also planning on attending medical school in the fall.

“Oh, yes, family. They are so important!” I gushed.

“You would make an amazing doctor!” I exclaimed.

“I’m so happy for you!” I squealed.

I think Z was taken aback by my sheer, obvious delight, but he chalked it up to my naturally warm and effusive personality.

We chatted about his life and his family after that, during which I repeatedly reassured him that he was making exactly the right choice and that it was not a problem for us at all. When not driving me crazy in the office, Z is actually quite a nice, pleasant, normal guy. Alas, as one of my former evil bosses would say, not everyone is cut out for this kind of work.

I was still on cloud 9 after he left. Boyfriend and I drove to a little Chinese restaurant a few miles away and celebrated over dinner, with me saying in 10-minute intervals: “Z is really leaving!” “He is really leaving!” “And he doesn’t hate me!”

Four hours later, I am still euphoric. Excuse the long post, but isn’t it amazing how one person makes or breaks your (work) life?